Some realizations

These realizations of mine are pretty basic, but I'm pretty much a complete idiot, so it takes me a long time to get things and as previously mentioned I forget things. Perhaps you can relate.

1.) God is bigger than my sin.
He can own my sin. He can pick it up, crumple it into a ball, throw it in the trash and not miss. He hates it. So while I think stupid things like, "Oh well, I will try to get over this on my own and then I will pray about it" or "I can't stop doing this so why do anything," I am turning away from my only hope because in reality, I alone can do nothing about my sin. I should be running to Him because He has chosen to forgive me and all my sin. He knows everything. He knows I am going to mess up. He loves me still. It is inconceivable and baffling, but it's True. By His power and grace, and not without time and persistence, I can and will overcome sin. I long for the day when my body will be made new and I won't have to come to Him time and time again saying, "Father, forgive me." There will be a day when I can no longer do anything but praise His name.

2.) Persistence
So last Sunday I went to church with my friend and we sang that old worship song we have all heard ten thousand million times, "You Are My All in All" and when we came to the part were it said:
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool.
I realized, "Hey, that is so true and amazing. Why would I ever want to stop pursuing this love?" What is more amazing is that He doesn't give up on us. He seeks us and calls us to repentance daily.

3.) Repenting is difficult.
At the time it is much easier to wallow in sinful subsistence, but why in the heck would I want to do that? I don't know either, but I do.

"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do --- this I keep on doing."

BUT

"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Paul often likened the Christian life to a race. I kinda started running, which is really some fast walking with a little bit of jogging tossed in, and it is hard. My muscles burn and it gets hard to breathe. I want to quit before I even get started. I want to do the bare minimum rather than give it my all. Towards the end though, after I get through the shin splits and get into the music, I enjoy the exercise. I feel like I accomplished something. I even want to go at it again. It is all worth it.

Turning away from sin isn't easy. Giving things up isn't easy. Overcoming addictions isn't easy. There is pain involved. Failure and relapse will be a temptation if not a reality. But, oh, how it is worth it. He is worth anything and everything. And it's not like you're ever alone in this fight, Helen, so stop complaining and get on with living a life that shines with Him.

Ok, this was officially a rant, but a good rant.